long distance relationships are hard. everyone knows this. and the people who tell me 'you can't live like this' because i chose to leave at 5 a.m. Monday morning rather that drive Sunday night just so that I could have one more delicious night of sleep wrapped in his arms obviously is lacking something in their relationship or don't know that this kind of sleep is the best sleep i've ever had. and it's hard to leave knowing i won't see him for at least another week and a half until we come together for Thanksgiving. but i think it'd be less difficult if there weren't this weekend seperating us when we're just 4 hrs apart and fully capable of hopping into a car and making the drive. the rational side of me knows that i need to take care of things long neglected around my house but the cranky side of me, the one who hasn't had a decent night sleep since last Sunday night, is still considering the logistics of a drive down there after work tonight. maybe if there were the cost of a plane ticket seperating us, i wouldn't spend hours considering the consequences of a winter where the gutters didn't get cleared out.
it's always interesting to get to know co-workers. especially so when they're nowhere within physical distance of you. i've gone through this before but in sort of an opposite way where i worked with people that were far but had some that were close and this time i'm the one that's just completely removed. and i'm ok with this. except that i don't know any of my team well enough to just fire off a message that simply asks 'is it at all possible that <name not included> is just an unreasonable ass?'. my instinct says yes and i suspect others would agree. still, at the risk of offending someone i'll keep the thought to myself, work off this assumption and move on. getting them all figured out at this rate may take years.
i'm a packer fan. it occurred one hungover sunday when i lived in soma. we scouted the neighborhood for food. something greasy. something that worked well with alcohol. and we found a bar called Zekes down on 3rd street near townsend. it's been awhile so a precise location is unknown but i'm sure it's still there. we walked into a maze of green and gold. there were people of all ages. there was a packer game on and the bar was filled with packer fans. i thought i saw my mother. i was hooked. another packer fan was created.
the S.O. is a broncos fan. given that he was raised and lives in WI it's difficult for me to understand how it came to be that so much was put on the line for last nights game. a deal was made and the insanity began. i was forced to go to the packer bar here in minneapolis because the network retards took away my ability to watch it with the basic cable i pay very little for each month. i don't watch games there unless i have to. i hate going out on work nights. but this was important. valueable things were at stake. the bar was in full force and as we tied the game with one play early in the 1st quarter i realized wonderful guy was not going to answer his phone. he's cute, even when he's in a compromising situation. but as usual, i realize why it is i love watching the game at this bar. the people, in our safe haven filled with packer fans and the one rogue vikings fan, are what makes packer fans unique. it's when you're standing outside having a cigarette and a touchdown is scored in overtime that wins the game and people you've never met grab you and hug you and high five you and shed tears with you do you realize... there's no other team like this one. and i don't care where i live, i'm sure there's a packer bar everywhere in the world.
i've started my new job and recalling why it is that people complain about work. it's all i complain about these days. ask anyone. but it's good to have structure again - the alarm clock, the commute (which thank god is short), the surly looking receptionist and lunch room people that stare at me like my zipper is down, the cubicle, the gym, the homemade dinner, the bedtime. these are my every day. and then there is the weekend spent in bed with the wonderful one. i live for the weekends now.
its an adjustment to be sure. i've never worked in a cube farm and i've never worked around people that don't actually have anything to do with my job. two different worlds collide but i'm hoping to adjust. i'm not sure how to do that but tonight i'm going to buy a plant and try to pretend it's comfortable here.
just last week i was offered a job and last night as i sipped wine with the ladies, a pal and i were reflecting on how quickly life can take its turns and place you right where you want to be. 3 months ago i was unhappy and overworked, in badly need of a change and fortunately the universe threw me that laid off curve ball and things took a turn for the better. if you told me 3 months ago that i would be enjoying months of summer bliss with a wonderful guy, enjoying the freedom that comes without job stress later to be hired by the company of my dreams - i would have bitterly laughed and assumed that life just couldn't be that easy. but it was and here i am.
a start date is pending on a request for office space so for now i'm still able to really wrap up the loose ends - those things that i figured i'd really get to do without work getting in the way. not so surprising, very little was accomplished these last few months as my priorities really fell into one category - how much time can i spend visiting this wonderful person that lives just a bit too far away? it took a few days back this week from madison to fall into a productive mode of getting things done but at 10:30 this morning, as a poured my 3rd cup of coffee, i stood back and admired the fact that there isn't a single article of clothing not ironed, folded, hung or put away where it belongs. the suitcases are actually in the closet once again, and while it's a little saddening, it's kind of nice not living out of a suitcase, even if for only this week.
since i've been laid off i've spent a great, overwhelming wonderful, amount of time down in madison with someone that made that transition from 'holy shit what am i going to do' to 'what did i do before you again?'... like a joyful expectant mother i like to wait some time before actually discussing the people i'm sleeping with. at least online. in the place my mother might actually find out that i am sleeping with anyone, not just someone.
last week i came home on sunday after a long weekend spent introducing the bed partner to the parents and drinking excessive amounts of beer while listening to blues music out at the highly glamorous Monroe fairgrounds. i was tired. and notably hungover for the majority of the week. but i kept up with my weekly duties, the house things, the bill things, the pretending that i care about life here when there isn't anything here to really are about, except for my washing machine and closet - i suppose - but those are close to unnecessary anyways. and last thursday i had a fantastic interview that i finished off feeling very well about and left me smiling as i drove back to WI again for the weekend. we spent friday night in Ripon for an unveiling of an iron sculpture that the guy helped pour - all 1400 lbs of it - for the arts college there. it was amazing and i hope to post pictures of the art opening at some point. pictures of the first 800 lb pour can be found here: http://www.flickr.com/photos/beckstar/sets/72157601879718560/
for the most part this was a much anticipated trip with the exception that thursday, after the interview, a cold that had been treading on a fine line all week came full circle and smacked me upside the head with a great big 'ta-da' and an evil laugh. i hated my body that day. when you're travelling 300 miles to see someone, for a special occassion, i'd think the least my body could do for me was hold on for 4 days before throwing a disease that leaves snot dribbling from your nose before the weekend. thankfully i wasn't sick alone and i recovered and after a wonderful weekend i again returned home last night, only to wake up with cramps and 3 large zits around my chin. for a brief moment this morning i was grateful i went to WI with only a cold.
i guess the last time i posted was the day i was laid off.... amazing how little blogging, internet networking, chatting, instant messaging becomes so insignificant when you're not trying to kill some hours on the job.
It was a great time to be laid off and i realized it was a positive change in my life - anyone that knows me understands i hate changes of most kinds. but this time of year has given me the opportunity to catch up on a life i used to have. before the 70hr work weeks, missed birthdays, happy hours, ladies nights, etc...
even though i don't work anymore i've been fairly busy. trying to keep up with the house (bills!) and relationships (there's a great one!) i've been gone a lot. last weekend while visiting home i was told i don't seem to be too worried about being unemployed and i realized it's not that i'm taking this lightly but really that i'm long overdue for just enjoying myself. believe me, i'm worried about being unemployed... but....
i'm enjoying myself.
one of the things about my house is the pains its taken for me to get the yard cleaned out. not only is it taking forever, it's somewhat expensive and painful - what with all that *chicken wire* they laid under every inch of the dirt alongside every wall on the house. last year i managed to do the front of the house and last weekend i was determined to complete the side - about 25 ft of overgrown hell that was consumed by daylillies, weeds and some suspicious looking purple things that look like flowers but i'm learning are more likely weeds given how they seem to like to spread. this was the first weekend i'd been home in awhile without any real plans - which is kind of funny because i went out more than i normally would if i had planned to. saturday i pulled up the side of the house and the chicken wire and the weeds and the stupid little border thing that looked like a rotted wooden 6 inch fence in completely mangled form. 8 contractor bags and half a pack of smokes later i was sunburned, tired but nowhere close to being finished. after breakfast i had gone to buy some shrubs to put alongside this wall. i didn't care about variety or appearance as there's all over maybe 20 feet between the border of the dug up dirt and the neighbors yard. this is a place no one really sees - unless you drove by last week and noticed the side of the house was being devoured by daylillies. i've really come to the conclusion that by the end of this project (years from now, i'm thinking) i will have a daylilly free yard. even if it kills me.
this is what's going on the side of my house. should be perfect. i was able to find 5 of them at my favorite nursery that happened to be having a 50% of sale. $28 and 500 scratches later, they're ready to be planted.
last friday i packed a suitcase and the dog and hopped in the car to spend the weekend with my niece and my nephews. the boys, being of that age, had better things to do and so my sister-in-law and i took the 2 yr old niece to state street for an afternoon of shopping and patio chilling. i love this kid.
one of the fun things about owning home is that people visit. a lot. and usually they're family and they still insist on sleeping in my bed just because its bigger and they're sharing it. this is also one of the downsides to owning a house. funny that. i just put my mother and aunt on the light rail to the airport. it's the cheapest, quickest and probably dirtiest way to get to the airport and it also means they don't need to listen to me curse violent things at drivers while travelling down 35W instead. bonus for all. these are my two favorite women in the world, the people i look up to, admire, hope to become someday and somehow this makes little sense when faced with a police officer on the light rail platform inquiring about my unleashed dog circling people with a wiggling butt that implies she's got big things coming her way this morning and i'm desperately trying to corral the two women into taking their train tickets and explaining to them that yes, the driver will announce when they're approaching the terminal, that there's a map - a big map - on the inside of the train and no, the train will not take them anywhere else and that big button on the door - that's how you open it- and i look around and the spectators, police officer included, are all smiling. amused. and i laugh because wherever they go, people smile.
