beckstar’s blog

silence

2008-07-14T14:53:56Z

this morning i woke up at 4 am, unsure of what to do. There's been so much doing around here lately and I'm tired. We've worked tirelessly on the house for the last 7 days and last night was the first night I sat in my home, alone, in weeks. Ma...

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time just flies on by

2008-06-30T20:29:02Z

this is one of those long weeks - the 14 days living out of a suitcase when on day 10 I finally finish doing one load of laundry and do my happy dance because i have clean underwear. we had a whirlwind weekend starting last tuesday for my birthd...

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this is a different leap

2008-05-12T03:09:01Z

i've mentioned here and there that change is hard. maybe i grew up with the idea that things should always be consistent and reliable and that holidays will always involve alcohol and that driving to see the one that i love will always mean that ...

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reality and a dream

2008-04-07T14:28:30Z

on the morning of 3/25, as my grandmother held his hand, my grandfather took his final breath. with a tear in his eye and the words caught in his throat, he finally rested after months of the kind of pain that comes only with being old. he wasn...

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on the road

2008-01-09T17:28:59Z

there's a point when i'm travelling between MN, and WI, and IA that i wonder what it's all for. and as this is my first 'day' home in almost 3 weeks i question the fact that i've accomplished close to nothing more than half a pack of cigarettes a...

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just out of reach

2007-11-16T17:45:30Z

long distance relationships are hard. everyone knows this. and the people who tell me 'you can't live like this' because i chose to leave at 5 a.m. Monday morning rather that drive Sunday night just so that I could have one more delicious night...

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fitting in or trying to.

2007-11-13T20:43:51Z

it's always interesting to get to know co-workers. especially so when they're nowhere within physical distance of you. i've gone through this before but in sort of an opposite way where i worked with people that were far but had some that were c...

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on being a fan

2007-10-30T14:07:07Z

i'm a packer fan. it occurred one hungover sunday when i lived in soma. we scouted the neighborhood for food. something greasy. something that worked well with alcohol. and we found a bar called Zekes down on 3rd street near townsend. it's ...

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it's all just work

2007-10-25T20:57:55Z

i've started my new job and recalling why it is that people complain about work. it's all i complain about these days. ask anyone. but it's good to have structure again - the alarm clock, the commute (which thank god is short), the surly looki...

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achievements

2007-10-04T15:58:01Z

just last week i was offered a job and last night as i sipped wine with the ladies, a pal and i were reflecting on how quickly life can take its turns and place you right where you want to be. 3 months ago i was unhappy and overworked, in badly ...

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