Posts (page 2)
since i've been laid off i've spent a great, overwhelming wonderful, amount of time down in madison with someone that made that transition from 'holy shit what am i going to do' to 'what did i do before you again?'... like a joyful expectant mother i like to wait some time before actually discussing the people i'm sleeping with. at least online. in the place my mother might actually find out that i am sleeping with anyone, not just someone.
last week i came home on sunday after a long weekend spent introducing the bed partner to the parents and drinking excessive amounts of beer while listening to blues music out at the highly glamorous Monroe fairgrounds. i was tired. and notably hungover for the majority of the week. but i kept up with my weekly duties, the house things, the bill things, the pretending that i care about life here when there isn't anything here to really are about, except for my washing machine and closet - i suppose - but those are close to unnecessary anyways. and last thursday i had a fantastic interview that i finished off feeling very well about and left me smiling as i drove back to WI again for the weekend. we spent friday night in Ripon for an unveiling of an iron sculpture that the guy helped pour - all 1400 lbs of it - for the arts college there. it was amazing and i hope to post pictures of the art opening at some point. pictures of the first 800 lb pour can be found here: http://www.flickr.com/photos/beckstar/sets/72157601879718560/
for the most part this was a much anticipated trip with the exception that thursday, after the interview, a cold that had been treading on a fine line all week came full circle and smacked me upside the head with a great big 'ta-da' and an evil laugh. i hated my body that day. when you're travelling 300 miles to see someone, for a special occassion, i'd think the least my body could do for me was hold on for 4 days before throwing a disease that leaves snot dribbling from your nose before the weekend. thankfully i wasn't sick alone and i recovered and after a wonderful weekend i again returned home last night, only to wake up with cramps and 3 large zits around my chin. for a brief moment this morning i was grateful i went to WI with only a cold.
i guess the last time i posted was the day i was laid off.... amazing how little blogging, internet networking, chatting, instant messaging becomes so insignificant when you're not trying to kill some hours on the job.
It was a great time to be laid off and i realized it was a positive change in my life - anyone that knows me understands i hate changes of most kinds. but this time of year has given me the opportunity to catch up on a life i used to have. before the 70hr work weeks, missed birthdays, happy hours, ladies nights, etc...
even though i don't work anymore i've been fairly busy. trying to keep up with the house (bills!) and relationships (there's a great one!) i've been gone a lot. last weekend while visiting home i was told i don't seem to be too worried about being unemployed and i realized it's not that i'm taking this lightly but really that i'm long overdue for just enjoying myself. believe me, i'm worried about being unemployed... but....
i'm enjoying myself.
one of the things about my house is the pains its taken for me to get the yard cleaned out. not only is it taking forever, it's somewhat expensive and painful - what with all that *chicken wire* they laid under every inch of the dirt alongside every wall on the house. last year i managed to do the front of the house and last weekend i was determined to complete the side - about 25 ft of overgrown hell that was consumed by daylillies, weeds and some suspicious looking purple things that look like flowers but i'm learning are more likely weeds given how they seem to like to spread. this was the first weekend i'd been home in awhile without any real plans - which is kind of funny because i went out more than i normally would if i had planned to. saturday i pulled up the side of the house and the chicken wire and the weeds and the stupid little border thing that looked like a rotted wooden 6 inch fence in completely mangled form. 8 contractor bags and half a pack of smokes later i was sunburned, tired but nowhere close to being finished. after breakfast i had gone to buy some shrubs to put alongside this wall. i didn't care about variety or appearance as there's all over maybe 20 feet between the border of the dug up dirt and the neighbors yard. this is a place no one really sees - unless you drove by last week and noticed the side of the house was being devoured by daylillies. i've really come to the conclusion that by the end of this project (years from now, i'm thinking) i will have a daylilly free yard. even if it kills me.
this is what's going on the side of my house. should be perfect. i was able to find 5 of them at my favorite nursery that happened to be having a 50% of sale. $28 and 500 scratches later, they're ready to be planted.
last friday i packed a suitcase and the dog and hopped in the car to spend the weekend with my niece and my nephews. the boys, being of that age, had better things to do and so my sister-in-law and i took the 2 yr old niece to state street for an afternoon of shopping and patio chilling. i love this kid.
one of the fun things about owning home is that people visit. a lot. and usually they're family and they still insist on sleeping in my bed just because its bigger and they're sharing it. this is also one of the downsides to owning a house. funny that. i just put my mother and aunt on the light rail to the airport. it's the cheapest, quickest and probably dirtiest way to get to the airport and it also means they don't need to listen to me curse violent things at drivers while travelling down 35W instead. bonus for all. these are my two favorite women in the world, the people i look up to, admire, hope to become someday and somehow this makes little sense when faced with a police officer on the light rail platform inquiring about my unleashed dog circling people with a wiggling butt that implies she's got big things coming her way this morning and i'm desperately trying to corral the two women into taking their train tickets and explaining to them that yes, the driver will announce when they're approaching the terminal, that there's a map - a big map - on the inside of the train and no, the train will not take them anywhere else and that big button on the door - that's how you open it- and i look around and the spectators, police officer included, are all smiling. amused. and i laugh because wherever they go, people smile.
i can't believe my niece is already 2. this weekend i'm going to take her to see fireworks and tell her they're just for her, even though her birthday was yesterday. i can do that. because aunts are allowed to tell white lies and feed their niece and nephews nothing but sugar.
happy birthday brooklynn.
as we're already at the end of june i'd just like to note that other than assorted blurry moments of showers and weddings and family visits and then last weeks trip to the boundary waters, i have nothing to show for the month. sure, i'll have some pictures back at the end of the week and i'll obligingly post the goofy pictures of me trying to fish in the boundary waters, but that's about it. my birthday was sunday and other than a few friends (oddly, most of them i haven't seen in years but consistently impress me with their ability to remember the date) it was a pretty depressing day for me. i mean, i almost forgot my own birthday and with the ongoing baby births and general summer business that seems to consume everyone i know, i really didn't expect much. but that's what happens when you don't expect much and then really get not a whole lot and suddenly it's very important. i called an old pal i knew wouldn't feel bad about forgetting the date. he had no reason to remember it to begin with. after some chit chat and half a pack of smokes on my deck i agreed to meet him at the kitty kat club. a few others joined in for a little while and overall it was kind of a nice day. if you remove that pesky mood i was already in after having been forgotten. i've been extremely sensitive lately. i've suffered this in the past and i know i'm a downright pain in the ass when Everything You Say Hurts My Feelings. i hate that about myself, too. i think i'm just tired and worn out. or maybe i'm still decompressing from May, the other bad month. either way, here's hoping it passes soon and without any furhter crying fits and outbursts of unnecessary anger at people that i really do love.
sundays bridal shower went fantastic and at one point during the whole thing, while i was sitting in the dining room with my aunt, a woman who has intimidated me my entire life, i gazed at a large table full of food that i had so carefully put together after weeks of planning, shopping and baking, and my aunt asked me for the recipe for one of the appetizers. never in a million years would i have believed that one day, someday, i'd be sitting in a house swapping recipes with this woman. she is the all-time baker, from a long line of them, for which most of our family puts their drinks down to try one of her tasty pastries. it was a pretty honorable moment for me. and when it was over, when the door was closed i was exhausted. i never got around to fully getting things cleaned up until last night. i decided to work from the office this week so that i could seperate what was going on there and what is going on here because, the lines, they're a little blurry sometimes and, well, i'm easily distracted. so last night i walked in the door at 6:30, made myself a cheese plate and sat on the deck for all of 10 min before tackling what needed to be done. typically i could put off dishes and mopping for a few days but this weekend my family will be staying with me for the wedding and well, i'm not getting any more sleep than i was last week and exhaustion is just sort of taking over that place of pain in my forehead that used to be caused from the worry of whether or not the cheesecake would really crack if i didn't use a waterbath. it took me about 3.5 hrs to fully get my house put back together, garbage out, dishes done, furniture back in its place and when i was done i poured myself the biggest glass of water and sat on the deck again. only to hear the sound of shattering glass. call it instinct, or maybe i just know the neighbor kids too well after 1 year of living next door to them but i decided to put the A.C. in the back bedroom so i could get some sleep last night and when i pulled the curtain back, there it was, a large hole in my window and broken glass everywhere. and the evidence, a white rock from the neighbors garden, sitting on my windowsill. while cleaning the glass outside that window with the neighbor i realized how badly overgrown the sidewalk was. i never notice that side of the house. i never go there, unless, of course i'm cleaning up a broken window. so tonight i guess i'll be doing that because i can just hear my dad 'jesus becky, you can't ignore this stuff' though i'd much rather do nothing and come up with some childish response, such as, 'well dad, those cutters that you gave me are still in the garage'.
there was that time i didn't take the weather people seriously and I was snowed in for 3 days. so this morning i was reasonably alarmed when the forecast actually SAID - spoken and printed - that today the weather was going to be high risk. they cautioned me to take them seriously and advised parents, teachers and the community to remind children and elderly of safety precautions should we get hit with a tornado. they said we would get some hail, heavy winds, heavy rain and probably a tornado to boot. i'm looking at my flowers wilting in their window boxes and gazing up to a bright blue cloudless sky and wondering if Dave Dahl is cringing over a cocktail somewhere worrying about his job.
i really like him and am so glad he's here.
